More unix command line humor

Waaaay back in grad school in (mumble) late 80s/early 90s (/mumble), I started using Unix in earnest. Back then, my dad shared some funny Unix error messages which were double entendres … often quite entertaining, as the shell was effectively playing the straight man in a comedy duo. Without intentionally doing so (of course).

Nowadays, you can ask Siri about the air speed of an unladen swallow, and get something funny back, but that is because Siri has had that capability programmatically added. These are funny, because the humor is unintentionally ironic.

See this link for some of them.

With this background, late last week, I saw a reference to a BSD library function call run around work. The call is ffs, and a ‘man 3 ffs’ on my Mac shows something like this.

FFS(3)                   BSD Library Functions Manual                   FFS(3)

NAME
     ffs, ffsl, ffsll, fls, flsl, flsll -- find first or last bit set in a bit
     string

LIBRARY
     Standard C Library (libc, -lc)

SYNOPSIS
     #include 

     int
     ffs(int value);

Ok. This is part of the background. The other part, is the common abbreviation indicating exasperation, which is FFS.

Now that this background is in process, lets see if we can get some humor.

The man page shows up on my BSD systems (Mac, SmartOS, Linux, etc.) under section 3. But I was given a man page section of 3c, so

landman@lightning:~$ man 3c ffs
No manual entry for ffs in section 3c

[for the unix command line humor impaired, replace the ffs with the urban dictionary version of this and say that “No manual entry” line out loud with that substitution …. not at work, or in front of small children, or on the phone …]

Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week.

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