Annoying people

You know, those idiots who take 2 parking slots.  Or in this case, idiots in the (small) gym that insist they are using 2 machines at once.  Not letting other people use them.  And these are 2 of the more popular free weight stations: a Smith machine, and a dead lift rack.

I have 2 gym memberships, one at the local community center gym, and one at a for-profit gym chain.  I elected to go to the community center gym today.  I like that they have dumbbells that are more than 60lbs.  The for profit gym tops out at 60lbs.

So I get in, and go to the first seemingly empty Smith machine.  Someone comes running back from the dumbbell area, and says they are using it.  They clearly weren't but they decided that the moment someone else expressed interest in using this bit of equipment, they should come back.

In gyms, among people who have been working out for decades, there tends to be an etiquette about machine usage, especially in crowded smaller gyms.  You use one machine/station at a time.  You don't sit on stations/machines playing with your phone, apart from switching music.  You are respectful of the space, the people around you.  If someone wants to work in, it is to be encouraged.

All of this is relevant.

For background, I've been working out with free weights since I've been 9 years old.  So 48 years.  I've been a member of the 1000lb club for decades.  Though, to be honest, as I get older, I drop my maximums down so I don't injure myself further.   I try to coach kids starting out on weightlifting to not do dangerous things, and help them understand that the weight they lift is incidental in most cases, its the form that matters.  Curiously, karate is similar.  Form matters.

This community gym is in the community center.  I help teach karate there.  In karate, respect and honor matter.  You respect where you are, your fellow students, your teachers.  You honor them by behaving well, not being a spoiled brat.

So ...

I start my workout on a different set of machines, figuring I'll get back to the Smith machines later.  And later I come back.  

There's a dude on the deadlift/squat rack.  He's not lifting much weight (more on this in a moment).  He puts it down and goes back to the Smith machine.  Does a set.  

Meanwhile, I've set up on the adjacent deadlift/squat rack.  Starting deadlifts.  Someone wants to work in with me.  Cool, I like that.  He wants to do squats.  I help him set up for that.  As I noted, there is an ettiquite for this.

The multi-station dude comes back.  I ask him is he really on both machines at once.  He's got maybe 6 inches / 15 cm in height on me.

In retrospect, its kind of funny how this evolves.

He said yes.  I said.  Don't do that.

He squares up on me.  In the meaning of to commence hostilities.

He asks me who I am, and do I work there.

I answer, yeah, I'm one of the karate instructors.

He blanched.  

The guy working in with me starts doing his squats, and this dimwit, unaware of anything but himself, almost bumps into him.  I try to move him out of the way and he says "I know what I'm doing!"

Obviously untrue.  If he did know what he was doing, he wouldn't be doing the things that caused him to be confronted on his bad ettiquite/behavior.

Once, years ago at this same gym, a lady confronted me about leaving weights on a machine.  It had slipped my mind.  I apologized, and removed them, and thanked her.

When you have power, you have responsibility. And you should be humble, respectful, etc.  You should not think "might makes right".

The guy then says to me "this is very heavy weight".

Dumb thing to say.  Really dumb.  The below is me doing 4x incline presses at 400lbs  at this same gym, a right angle away from this Smith machine and deadlift/squat rack. That's 8x 45 lb plates, 4 on each side and an about 50lb apparatus.  This was the apparatus the women asked me to remove my weights from.

I walk over to the bar and easily lift it up, and then put it down.  Maybe 200lbs?  If he was lucky?

Then, seeing me demolish each one of his arguments with verbal points, or trivial demonstrations "I've been working out for 35 years, I know what I'm doing".

My response "I've been working out for 48 years.  Don't do this again."

I may have gone over the top with "they only response I should hear is 'yes sir'", but hey, I was pissed.

He said "I'm done here".  Went back to the Smith machine he's been hogging for more than 30 minutes.

Moments after he left, another young lady took up the deadlift/squat station.

I did report him to the admin staff there, let them handle it.

Thinking about this, and how badly people behave these days ... how entitled they act.  How they whine and complain and offer all manner of excuses when caught in their bad behavior.  How profoundly non self-aware they are.  

 This clip comes to mind.

Its all about "me me me".  Its not about doing the right thing.  Being accountable for the impact of your actions.

In a crowded gym with limited space and stations, not consuming more than you can effectively use at once, that is, a single station, is good behavior.  Not letting people work in with you is bad behavior.  Being respectful of the limited resources, the spaces, the people. That's good behavior.  Not giving a crap, and trying to impose your will on others.  That is bad behavior.

We see this throughout society as well.  In the releases of the twitter files dumps of internal communications, we see a corporation demonstrating bad stewardship of their power.  Imposing their will. Definitely impacting broader society, and not in a good way.  Now that they are private, and much smaller, we see them at least attempt to make these things saner, though they've had a few bumps recently.  That is, they now (post sale) respect they power they have over public discourse, and are at least attempting to do the right thing.

When you make it all about you you you, you cause others harm.  Intentional or not, you actively or passively harm them, by denying them something.  Be it gym equipment usage, parking space, or public square voices.  

When you think about, and act on what your responsibility is to your fellow human beings, society, your gym, your neighbors and parking, you find yourself more respectful, more humble, more focused on helping, and service.  

If you are rude, expect to be treated rudely until you understand that you shouldn't be rude.

I know, some people will say "an eye for an eye leaves everyone blind".  They are missing the point.  Heinlein had a statement about that from his book "Starship Troopers".  People need to know to self correct, to be respectful of the spaces they occupy, the people they interact with.  They shouldn't assume that might makes right.

There's always someone stronger.  Faster.  Smarter.  This way leads to uncivilization.

Which is what we largely have now.  What I experienced today was a metaphor for the incivility I see throughout our discourse.  

There are people I know on the right of center politically who say bad things about the left of center.  The left of center people call those on the right fascists.  Both groups are wrong.  Both actions and name calling is wrong.

This is what in part the twitter file drops show, that political capture of a corporation that happens to host the public square, results in abuse of power by that in-group.  And when the groups change due to a purchase in this case, there is much rending of clothes, wailing, etc.

We are incivil towards each other.  We don't respect (well, collectively, might not be true individually) each other.  We don't have patience for the other.  We demonize the other.  We feel free to attack, usually verbally, though in many cases these days, physically, the other.

This is part of a societal feedback loop.  One which reinforces certain behaviors.  Bad parking.  Abusing gym equipment.  Calling people names with impunity, denying the other platforms on which to speak.

I am hoping we can collectively do some serious soul searching and come up with a way to respect and work/live with each other.  I have friends/family on all sides of the political spectrum.  I don't hate/despise/bait any of them.  We can joke with each other, and needle each other.  But we do it lovingly.

Maybe the feedback loop will readjust so that we re-learn respect for each other.  And then we'd see people behave better in the gym.  And in the public squares.

Watching those rending their clothes and screaming about "fascism" (it isn't) of the new ownership of the town square, subsequently decamp for other locations ... doesn't give me hope that we are mature enough to understand that we have to communicate and interact in real life.  It shows me that some factions prefer their echo chambers.  They were happy when ideological capture created one out of the public square.  They were less happy when this ideological capture and its effects were exposed for the misbehavior it was.

I'm politically homeless, voting for both major and a few minor parties.  I vote for people.  Never parties.  Neither party seems able or willing to do what they need to do to eliminate their anti-semitic branches, as they fear losing control of their respective chambers.  So, by definition, they are tolerant of that.  I find that unacceptable.  Anyone voting straight party tickets is part of the problem.  

Pointing this out to people in either major party generates excuses that "then the other guys will control this".  Yeah, so?  

Shouldn't our job be, to do collectively the best that we can by our citizens?  To protect them?  To encourage civil discussion?  Functional government?

This is why I say that when one really understands power, understands its place in the world, that they will be humble, will be sensitive to their impact.  If you exercise power, do so in a way that maximizes benefit.  Not just for you.

Put another way, Tikkun Olam.  Kind of hard to do if its about you you you.